I don't have my life together. I'm not treating people with sympathy, not eating regularly, not sleeping in understandable patterns, not trying or working. This isn't irregular in my trainwreck of a life, though generally I go through the motions with a bit more grace and care. It's frustrating that the apathy of living in an underwhelming and disheartening environment has carried over to a climate where there are so many challenges and people to appreciate.
At its most basic, my grades are reflecting all of this. Somehow I've stopped really caring, though I should just be beginning. Truly I need to maintain a good GPA and be really learning. There should not be any excuses, yet I am making many. I'm clearly an A student, which sounds demeaning but is true...

Shut up. I will
bitch about you
in my blog if I
want to.

[4/23/2010 10:21:28 PM] Chris Litchfield: hey maya!
[4/23/2010 10:22:19 PM] Chris Litchfield: how's it going? it's been a while...
[4/23/2010 11:32:18 PM] Chris Litchfield: well
[4/23/2010 11:32:29 PM] Chris Litchfield: i hope you are doing alright maya
[4/23/2010 11:32:58 PM] Chris Litchfield: i'm sorry that things have gone south between us, it would seem. i don't know what to say.
[4/23/2010 11:33:08 PM] Chris Litchfield: except that i hope you are ok.

I wonder, whose fault is this?
Weird. Oh, right, it is
your fucking fault.
It was really lovely to see you
and talk to you that weekend you were home.
Oh, wait.
You didn't contact me. At all.
This is your fucking fault.
I cannot
tolerate you
anymore.

I don't even want to be your
friend
or your
other half
or someone you need
anymore.

Well done. You've only hurt yourself.