News

Pesach things! Yesterday we held our own seder at the synagogue in the big community room. It's "owned" by the JCC, which is leaving the location, so we have to move too. I want to go to a last service before we have a new location. It makes me sad and nostalgic to think about us moving somewhere new; our synagogue feels so much like home and is so comforting. I hate growing up sometimes.

24 people sang and prayed and drank and ate together. I ate a lot and got a little tipsy and was surrounded by family and some extended relatives that got on my nerves. It was wonderful, mostly. Gabe and Netta looked really happy together, I like to see Netta happy.

Got rejected from Skidmore yesterday. Over 6,000 hopefuls applied to be part of the class of 675. I wish I had been in that 675, but at least now I know. I think maybe if I had applied next year, after having taken more APs, had more time to concentrate on the application, and had better recommendations, I would have been accepted. Maybe everything happens for a reason, maybe.

Today I have been lazing around and eating Pesach food and thinking about where I will be next year. Soon we are leaving to go to the second seder at Rabbi Fred's. I wonder if his son will be there?

There have been floods all around, and the rain isn't stopping any time soon.

Been thinking about going to study in South America a lot, where it is warm and less sexualized and commercialized than our whitewhitewhite society. I want sun and beauty and wildlife and a purpose.

I've been missing James lately. Weird. Also, a bit painful, seeing as he had come home over winter break and I didn't even know until I saw his picture in a photo album online.

Slowly recovering from a migraine. I left school before sixth period because I could not see or deal with noise, went home, and slept until 6:30 or so. Canceled therapy and didn't go to chamber. My head still aches and my ears feel stuffy, but I can look at this computer screen and have a light on above my bed.

It was glorious out over the weekend and I felt wonderful. It's grey and drizzly out now and my feelings reflect that.

Haven't played viola in ages and I feel guilty and useless.

Inventory

A year-in-review sort of thing.

Accomplishments:
- Best Delegate at UMASSMUN
- Spanish Honors Society
- National Honors Society
- Tri-M
- Solo concertist
- Simon's Rock scholarship

Failures:
- Grades
- Not more money from Simon's Rock
- Meanness
- Not on Honor Role
- Pettiness
- Weird friend issues

I don't even remember what it was like to be with someone anymore.
Word of advice: don't go through any archive of your own personal past, it is really more painful than it's worth.
I cannot wait to get out of here and meet new people.

Blech.

Been feeling somewhat horrible lately but I don't need to talk about why.

I've been practicing the Beethoven Sonata for violin, viola, and flute with Tony and Lucy and am really excited about it. Chamber music is a relief in so many ways. I don't sound very good yet (seeing as we've rushed through it once) but am looking forward to it being beautiful for the Tri-M whatever in two weeks.

UMASS MUN is this weekend. I'm excited.

Chris is home, we hung out briefly, and it surprisingly didn't make me feel like crying.

I need to start writing and feeling the sun on my skin and singing more; I need to open up and stop hiding and start to breathe again. One of the few things keeping me going is the prospect of finding a new home to occupy and a new body of people with whom to associate. My brain is atrophying because I am too lazy to think too hard about anything. My body's already atrophied, and it's doubtful that I'll have the willpower to change.

Ways We Are Going to Die

The prospect of 2012 is terrifying. It gets even more so if some research is done. For starters, this What You Ought to Know video is good.
Let's get into that new age of man!
Giant black hole.
Massive solar storms.
Tons of asteroids.
Yellowstone Park is a Supervolcano!
Seismic activity on the increase.

We need to get electric generators and house insurance, stat.

Oh my g-d.
Understand the concept of SPACE please.
No, I do not want to be texted/Skyped/facebook messaged all the time, if I did, I would respond!
Flirting via text is also awful in every single way ever.
No no no no no. Stopit.

In other news, I am painting me.
I am also learning to sing properly, which is nice.